The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way—contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there.
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Dark Jar Tin Zoo
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Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.

By Dark Jar Tin Zoo

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.


By Dark Jar Tin Zoo

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.


By Dark Jar Tin Zoo

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

By Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.


By Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.


By Dark Jar Tin Zoo

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.


By Dark Jar Tin Zoo
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